


BareHands

by yikestozier



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Blood, Childishness, Denial, Denial of Feelings, Ethics, Eventual Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Guns, Idiots in Love, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Planned, Slow Burn, Trust Issues, Zombie Apocalypse, all his knowledge comes from movies and shows, and soon mark..., but its weird, but we will see, chaotic bisexual ethan, dont be surprised, ethan is a nerd, ethan is me freaking out over mark, it is a zombie apcalypse after all, mark is the sweetest, not at all subtle flirting, oblivious idiots, title isnt permanent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22397050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikestozier/pseuds/yikestozier
Summary: He had been running for who knows how long, days at least. He couldn't breathe and his legs were on the verge of collapsing. Then, looking behind himself, he slowed, then slowly came to a stop to catch his breath. You'd think all the hours in both Left 4 Dead games would help him out but not really, he joked to himself. Then, he took in his surroundings. He was in the middle of a deserted road that looked like something straight out of a movie, cars overturned and all. It would have been a bit cheesy and cliche but instead it just made him uncomfortable and on edge, the silence making his skin crawl. He continued down the road, hoping to come across something or perhaps someone - preferably not a zombie.(was idiots in the apocalypse)
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 24
Kudos: 95





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> idk what to say but i know theyre straight and both have girlfriends and are just good friends so... yeah

He had been running for who knows how long, days at least. He couldn't breathe and his legs were on the verge of collapsing. Then, looking behind himself, - which in retrospect probably wasn't the best idea, even if the zombies weren't still chasing him - he slowed, then slowly came to a stop to catch his breath. You'd think all the hours in both Left 4 Dead games would help him out but not really, he joked to himself. 

Finally, he took in his surroundings. He was in the middle of a deserted road that looked like something straight out of a movie, cars overturned and all. It would have been a bit cheesy and cliche but instead it just made him uncomfortable and on edge, the silence making his skin crawl. To the side of him he heard a gnawing sound, choosing to ignore it since it was most likely one of those  _ things  _ feasting on whatever they had found which he decided he definitely did not want to see and put himself in danger, he continued down the road, hoping to come across  _ something  _ or perhaps some _ one  _ \- preferably not a zombie.

Not long down the road, he actually did find something, or more someone, who was  _ not _ a zombie! His relief was quickly followed by fear. Was this person friendly? What if they just killed him no questions asked? Or worse, what if they just stole the little he had and left him for dead? Gulping, he decided to take his chances and hoped the man's edgy looks we're just to scare off people who could take him down and he's actually a huge sweetheart. The thought that briefly came to him that he could be the Columbus to the mans Tallahassee quickly got him going and excited, waving to him, once he got closer. 

“Hey! I'm not a zombie don't worry!”

The man didn't respond but he did put his gun down and wave back, then proceeded to wave him over. Smiling and giggling, - being happy for the first time in what feels like forever - he ran over to the man.

Finally, close enough to talk without shouting but not close enough to really make each other out despite them both wearing glasses (contacts + zombie apocalypse does not work out, trust me), the man began to speak. He had one of the deepest, smoothest voices, he had ever heard. Quickly pushing way the subconscious thought of how hot the man's voice was, he tried to pay attention despite running out of ADHD medicine long ago.

“What's your name?”

“Ethan. What’s yours?”

“Mark… You’re not infected are you?”

His tone shifted from kind yet cautious to threatening in seconds, throwing Ethan off. He knew there was no real reason to worry as this Mark really did seem like a sweetheart, he just had to be cautious, and Ethan isn't infected. No reason to worry. “N-no. I'm not.”

Mark fully put his gun away in his holster and held his hand to Ethan, a smile on his face. Ethan took his hand and shook it.

“Pleasure to meet you! Do you not have anywhere to go? Where did you come from?”

Ethan hesitated.  _ Where did I come from? _ He tried to think.

“Uh, I ran from just a few miles back… a whole bunch of them kinda… sneaked up on me where I was staying so… No, I don't have a place to stay. Was pretty happy to see another human in hopes I could stay with them actually.”

Mark nodded in understanding. “Well… Sorry about that, you can definitely stay with me though, gets pretty lonely where I am.”

He laughed which made Ethan smile at him. After a moment of awkward laughing and Ethan's chaotic bisexual brain screaming about how attractive Mark is, mark began to walk back the way he came, motioning for Ethan to follow, which he did.

“Where are we going?’ Ethan asked after a few minutes of silent walking.

“Back to base. I was going to go scavenge but I have enough and I thought I should show you around and get you settled in.”

Mark threw another smile at Ethan, his eyes crinkling as he did so making Ethan realized he was probably part Korean.  _ He has the best smile. _ While Ethan was oh so grateful for this kind stranger, he couldn't help but wonder  _ why  _ exactly he was being so nice to him. He supposed it was because of how he waved over and cheerfully ran over, all friendly. Ethan has always been told he's a very trustworthy person. “Something in the face” they always say. Or perhaps Mark really is that soft and kindhearted, willing to put himself in danger if it means helping someone - even if it could get him killed.

Ethan looked to Mark again. How could someone be so cheerful and optimistic and trusting of strangers in the  _ apocalypse _ ? Ethan didn't know nor could he wrap his head around it. They were 4 months in and he was still like this? Or perhaps he adopted it? Ethan supposed the apocalypse  _ could _ make people better, but it was probably quite rare. Then, Mark looked back at him, making Ethan's heart jump up in speed.

Mark smiled, “Like what you see?”

His sweet smile contrasted against his voice and tone. Ethan definitely  _ really _ liked what he saw. Not like he'd tell Mark that, choosing instead to roll his eyes and huff. Sure, it's the apocalypse, but it's still not fun to tell someone you like them or find them attractive, especially when you're two guys and your survival can depend on each other.  _ Homophobia can be a real killer _ , Ethan giggled in his mind at the joke.

“... do you even have a gun?” mark asked after a while.

Ethan didn't even know how to use a gun, he just hoped he wouldn't need one. He giggled nervously. 

“No, I have a knife though!”

“Oh-my-fucking-god! How are you still alive?!”

Mark laughed and Ethan memorized it. One thing the apocalypse had taught him was that when you were genuinely happy and having a great time, it was important to savor it as it could be months until you get that again. His laugh was high and loud despite his speaking voice. SO far, Ethan loved everything about Mark, and depending on what would come out after living with him for a while, he could see himself most definitely falling for the man. He made a note to get to know him.

If he was completely honest, Ethan didn't really know why or how he was still alive. Just a lot of running he supposed. Like he's always done most of his life. He tried not to dwell on that part, not wanting to bring down the mood. In the zombie apocalypse you need all the happy times you can get.

Giggling, he finally responded.

“I honestly don't know. Dumb luck probably.”

“Hey, dumb luck is still luck.”

Mark responded, putting out his fist. Ethan giggled giving him a fist bump. Yeah, it was childish but they were having fun despite it being the end of the world and Ethan decided that's what mattered. Suddenly Mark perked up with a small “Oh!”

“Let's play 20 questions until we get there! Get to know each other! But like not regular 20 questions, more so ask each other questions and call it 20 questions.” he giggled.

Ethan agreed, telling Mark to go first and think of something to ask him. After a minute, Mark was ready.

“Rapid fire, let's go! Are you a virgin?”

Ethan laughed abruptly. “Why is that the first question you can think of what the fuck!” his sentence trickled off with his laughter taking over. Taking a big breath he responded. “No, how old are you?”

“30, how old are YOU?”

“23!”

For some reason that got them laughing again, forcing them to stop to double over and laugh - Mark one arm clutching his stomach, the other supporting him on his knee, Ethan rolling on the ground.

After a moment they stopped laughing and Mark helped Ethan up. Then, they heard something in the distance to their right.   



	2. Chapter 2

Mark instantly took a few steps forward, putting on hand on his gun and one arm out to keep Ethan behind him. Through the horror Ethan finally realized how small he was compared to Mark despite them both being around the same height - Ethan probably being only an inch shorter.

Ethan tried to tell himself it was probably nothing… but what if it was something? Ethan was going to just turn around and run the other way, and suggest Mark do the same, but then Mark looked back at Ethan. Whether it was to make sure he was still there or okay neither knew, but he was still there, and Ethan decided he wanted to stop running. He got his knife out just in case.

Mark began to cautiously walk up to the noise. If it was just a bit farther away they could have probably just quietly walked past, Ethan briefly thinks.

Mark has just a few more steps now, and he will be right at the noise. Ethan's heart picked up in speed, instantly thinking of the worst possible outcome. And if that were to happen, what would he do? Mark was the first kind person he'd seen in months, he couldn't lose him so soon. In that moment he decided that he probably would die for him if he needed to. They took a few more steps, weapons out and ready.

Mark did one of those jumps around the bush covering the noise, like you see in cop shows, making Ethan wonder for just a split second if Mark used to be a cop. He couldn't think for long however as his mind was soon overtaken by worry for the man.

He didn't shoot instantly, which meant it was most likely a good sign (or at least not deadly), but then he frowned. He looked sad. Mark scratched at his beard, as if thinking, and Ethan went around the bush to see what he saw to put him in this state of melancholy. 

It was a zombie alright, but it was just the torso, arms and head. It was basically just bone, bearing a stark resemblance to the one zombie in  _ Return of the Living Dead  _ who they interrogate.

Ethan looked back to Mark, still sad. How could someone get sad over a zombie? Sure, they were human once, but if this thing had legs it would not be wasting any time to rip him apart. Besides, it's not like they can feel anything… right? Ethan was brought out of his thoughts as Mark raised his handgun and shot the zombie right in the center of the forehead, walking away right after.

Ethan looked back at the thing. Blood had began to pool around the head. Thinking about it later he realized the zombie did look quite sad not being able to do anything, and looking at it now, looked at peace after. A second death, finally doing the job. Maybe  _ Return of the Living Dead _ was right in some aspects. Maybe the zombies actually didn't want to hurt anyone, whether it was because of the pain of death no one could ever know as the zombies in the real world didn't talk, but maybe.

Ethan ran up to Mark. They looked at each other, Mark giving a smile, but it was slightly forced. They kept walking in silence, looking at each other every so often, until they got to where Mark was staying.

Once arriving, Ethan was surprised to see it was just a house. The house wasn't even modified that much minus the chain fence with barbed wire on top. Ethan supposed it was because it was better to be more blended in.

Mark opened the gate, bowing a bit,

“Ladies first.” he smiled.

Ethan slapped him on the shoulder and rolled his eyes but was surprised to feel something keeping him back. Mark has grabbed onto the handle of his backpack which Ethan had forgotten was there somehow.

“Now, you sure you wanna hit the person who your survival depends on?”  
It was a threatening sentence but was said in a joking manner allowing Ethan to relax and know he was joking.

“Gee, I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again!” they both giggled and began to walk in, Mark locking the gate behind him and letting Ethan into the house, locking that door behind him as well.

Once hearing the door click locked behind him, Ethan jumped. It just settled how little he knew Mark. Sure, he seemed great and Ethan was quite desperate for somewhere safe to stay and someone to stay with, but how could he know that's how he actually is? What if he was just luring Ethan into a false sense of security?

“So! Here she is! Let me take you upstairs, I'll show you the guest room, let you get settled in then I can give you a tour… Say, you alright?”

Mark's calm and kind tone helped Ethan to calm down, but he tried to remind himself to not let his walls down so soon.

“Yeah… I'm good, lead the way!” he giggled nervously.

Mark smiled at him, and despite his eyes still showing worry for the boy, nodded, and began to walk up the stairs, singling for Ethan to follow, which he did.

Ethan's room was the 2nd door on the left, right next to Marks, he made a point of saying.

“Imma be downstairs putting some stuff away and shit, so just let me know when you want that tour.” He smiled at Ethan.

His smile was so infectious forcing Ethan to smile back. As Ethan sat down on his bed and took his backpack off, he realized Mark could be the Devil himself and he really wouldn't know or mind. These past 2 hours have been the best in his whole life so far. He wouldn't mind dying to him. Ethan shook his head.  _ What the fuck am I thinking? _

Ethan looked around, putting his backpack on the floor in front of his bedside table. Even if Mark is exactly what he knows of him so far, he can't get too comfortable. He's seen enough of  _ The Walking Dead _ to know that zombies can easily take places over and you have to run to somewhere new, then repeat.

Ethan spent his hour just laying in bed. It was soft and comfortable and he hadn't laid in a comfortable bed in what felt like years.

Before he ended up falling asleep, he got up and went downstairs. Looking to the right - the kitchen - first, he didn't see anyone, then to his left, - the living room - he saw Mark sitting on the couch, reading a book. He looked up a second after Ethan laid his eyes on him, smiling. 

“Hey! Ready for that tour?” he said, placing a bookmark in the book before closing it.

Ethan nodded, smiling. “Did you live here before… everything?” he asked first, pointing at the book.

Mark nodded then got up. “Yeah… let's get started yeah?”

Ethan nodded and Mark showed him the place, and Ethan learned that the toilets we're even  _ usable _ because he was going to school for engineering and knows how to use solar power. 

Ethan had never been religious but he could have sworn this was Heaven and Mark was God.


	3. Chapter 3

Ethan couldn't sleep that night, his anxiety going off the walls. Mark was great and Ethan would be lying if he said he wouldn’t want to die to Mark, not that it was preferred, but Mark was just so nice and handsome that if he were to end up turning on Ethan, he probably wouldn’t put up too much of a fight. God, what was he thinking?

Going to the window, opening it, hoping to get some fresh air to perhaps clear his mind a bit, he suddenly jumped at a knock at his door.

“Hey, Eth?” Ethan relaxed just a bit. Just Mark. He reminded himself to stay cautious. “Can I, um, come in?”

“Uh, yeah sure.”

Mark came in, bashful almost. Ethan looked at him confused.

“I could hear your thoughts from the room over.” Mark giggled, “You okay?”

It was so sincere that, despite his mind telling him not to trust this person he's known for only a day, Ethan couldn't help but trust him at least a little. He gave Mark a smile, nodding yes, but that only got Mark to fully come in, sighing as he sat on Ethan’s bed. He patted the spot next to him and Ethan obeyed, sitting next to him, yet not as close as Mark patted, getting him to sigh again.

“I get it, you don't trust me yet, I understand.”

God, Ethan wished that was the problem when in reality the truth was Ethan trusted him  _ too _ much.

Mark giggled before speaking again. “Would trust exercises make you feel better?”

Ethan giggled but seriously thought about it for a moment. Sure, it wouldn’t guarantee him actually being a good person and that Ethan should trust him necessarily as he could be faking it… but, on the other hand, it might put his mind at ease a bit.

“You know what? Yes, it would.”

Mark looked at him, his face reading  _ ‘really? _ ’ but after a moment he got up, flinging his head in a way that said 'Sure, whatever works I guess', gesturing for Ethan to do the same. Standing in from of him, Mark motioned for Ethan to turn his back to him and told him to fall back on the count of three. Ethan obeyed, falling back as Mark reached the number three. As he felt the feeling of Mark’s arms wrap around him to catch him, Ethan released a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

Turning to face Mark, he smiled at the man, exclaiming “You caught me!” to which Mark replied, a smile on his face, “Told you I would!”

Ethan gave him a look.

“You didn’t say shit! You just stood and told me to turn and fall at three!” 

Mark just shrugged. “Same thing.”

Just before Ethan could protest, Mark began to speak once more.

“Look, imma head to bed, I hope this has helped you to trust me a bit…” 

Marks gaze lingered on Ethan and he could feel his skin prickle making his skin break out in goosebumps. He really wished he was omniscient right now. Mark began speaking again Ethan realized a bit late.

“We got a good dynamic, it's easy with you.”

Ethan smiled, taking it as a compliment. Then suddenly Mark was closing the space between them, holding his arms out once more for Ethan and Ethan gladly accepted the hug. A little bit later than typical hugs, Mark moved away once more, this time heading for the door. 

Looking back, he spoke one more time. “Goodnight Ethan. Get some rest you need it.”

Ethan nodded and before he knew it Mark was gone. It was as if he was never even there, no evidence to him besides the goosebumps still on Ethan’s skin and the blush on his cheeks. Finally, Ethan decided that, yeah, he should probably sleep. He closed the window and slipped into the bed that he supposed he should start calling his now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kinda a filler chapter im sorry IVE GOT IDEAS I PROMISE


	4. Chapter 4

Ethan woke at what he assumed was a relatively okay time the next day due to the smell of food and the light from his window in his eyes. Sighing, after a moment he finally got up. Not bothering to change as he didn't really bring any clothes, he went down the stairs as the smell of food came closer with every step.  _ When was the last time he ate? _ He couldn't remember.

Turning to his right at the bottom of the stairs he saw Mark, decked out in an apron and all. He moved forward but made a note to not ask for food as Mark wasn't his mom or his husband or anything. The second title made Ethan feel weird.

“Hey! You're up!” Mark exclaimed excitedly, gesturing for Ethan to sit down in one of the two chairs as he set a plate of toast (with the options of butter, grape jelly, and strawberry jelly), scrambled eggs (with the option of syrup which Ethan almost threw himself at without thinking but didn't move), and bacon.

“Sorry, I didn't ask what you're eating habits are or if you're allergic to anything so I went with a basic breakfast - if you don't like it or anything I can make you something else-”

Ethan cut him off, nervous. “No! This is fine! I’ll eat whatever, I’m just allergic to peanuts!” Then, after a moment, “This is for me? Really, you didn't have to make me anything-”

This time Mark was cutting Ethan off, “No! I love cooking and waking up early, besides I can tell you haven’t eaten in a while, dig in!” he smiled at Ethan, sitting down in the chair opposite to Ethan with his own plate. 

Getting the approval from Mark, Ethan finally did just that. The minute the first bite of syrup cover eggs (the fluffiest eggs he's ever had Ethan made a point of noting) hit his stomach, he finally realized how hungry he actually was, shoving the food down his throat - but still making a point of savoring it - making Mark laugh and tell him to slow down.

A bit later Mark spoke up again. 

“I’ve been thinking, maybe I should teach you how to use a gun.”

Ethan looked up and thought about it. Yeah, he supposed it would be pretty useful knowledge in the zombie apocalypse. He nodded and Mark smiled at him.

“Cool, okay, we can eat and go do that - wouldn’t be smart to do it here, could attract them here ya know.”

Ethan nodded once more before going back to the rest of his food, Mark doing the same, keeping simple conversation every few bites.

Both of them finally finishing their food, Mark took his and Ethan’s plate, before he could get up and do it himself, putting them both in the sink. Turning from said sink, Mark stared at Ethan a bit making Ethan shiver,  _ why did he keep doing that? _

“Do you not have any other clothes?”

“Um, not really.”

“That's gross. We’ll go out and get you some soon.”

And with that Mark left the room leaving no room for disagreement, not like Ethan would anyways, it  _ was _ gross. Not realizing he wasn't moving, Mark came back, holding a small pile of clothes.

“These should fit you pretty well, maybe on the bigger side but better than what you got. Now go shower idiot.” He giggled.

Ethan nodded, laughing himself, taking the clothes and thanking Mark before going up the stairs and into the bathroom. 

Once getting in the bathroom and locking the door behind him, Ethan looked at himself in a mirror for probably the first time since this shit started. He still looked relatively like himself, but he couldn't feel more distant from the face he saw. His brown hair was black in some places due to dirt and dried blood and there was even a bit of blue at the end of his way too long hair from the last time he dyed it. There was also blood on his cheek and under his nose due the when he got a nose bleed from the air due to running. His face was dirty too and he looked about as tired as he felt. Ethan sighed, turning on the water and getting into the shower.

Looking down to the drain as he let the water fall on top of his head he could see the red and brown swirl around the drain until finally going down it. Sighing, he finally got to washing his hair and body, scratching some parts of his skin a bit more than others due to developing a bit of eczema from not showering for so long.

About halfway through his shower, Ethan began to think about Mark. About how his eyes crinkle when he smiles, making him look more ethic than usual, and how his teeth show when he smiles or laughs - how his teeth are in general like, wow, they’re so nice and straight. Stopping his mind from making a gay joke in his head at that, Ethan began to get self-conscious. What once started as a nice wholesome “Thinking About How Cute Mark Whatever-his-last-name-is is” was now just Ethan thinking about how ugly he was in comparison. Sure, Ethan knew he wasn't ugly per se, in fact, he knew he was quite attractive, but anyone was ugly in compersion to Mark he supposed.

Finally getting out of the shower Ethan began to look in the mirror cabinet, finding hair cutting scissors and a hair shaver or whatever it was called. Probably how mark has an actual haircut Ethan realized. Ethan made a note to ask Mark to help give him a haircut. 

Until then, however, Ethan began unfolding the clothes. Underwear, black jeans, and a simple grey sweater. Pretty basic but clean and Ethan was happy for  _ anything _ clean. 

Putting the clothes on Ethan realized that they were indeed a bit big but overall fine. We're these Mark’s clothes? There’s no way, his clothes would be huge on him! But if they weren’t Mark’s clothes… whos we're they? Ethan hadn’t seen anyone else here. He decided to just ask Mark himself, going down the stairs and looking into the living room where he found Mark.

“Ethan! Ready to go?”

Ethan nodded but began speaking as Mark and he started tying their shoes. 

“Whose clothes are these?”

He saw Mark instantly get tense at the question and was just starting to say that it was fine and he didn't have to say, but Mark was cutting him off before he could finish speaking.

“No, it's fine… Just a, uh… friend of mine - a partner in the early days of this shit.” Mark paused and Ethan didn't know if he liked where this story was going. “He died a while back, but I’m okay, don't worry.”  
Despite Mark saying it was okay, he could tell it still hurt him and he could see his eyes were a bit glossy but Ethan decided it would be best to leave it alone. Mark sniffled a bit, trying to play it off, before speaking once more.

“Don't worry though, you're not sleeping in his old room or anything if that makes you feel better.” He attempted to joke though it wasn't really much of a joke, smiling a slightly forced smile at Ethan. But it wasn’t completely forced, Ethan could tell that just his presence made Mark feel a bit better. Ethan smiled back.

With that Mark grabbed a bag and they left, Mark locking the door behind him. After doing so, he looked to Ethan, probably to see if he was ready despite already locking the door, but their eyes lingered on each other, causing them both to fight back smiles unsuccessfully. Ethan wondered if Mark felt it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i struggled for weeks on chapter 3 but finished this one in a day... mhm oh kay


	5. Chapter 5

After a minute of walking to wherever Mark was taking him to, Ethan spoke up.

“We never got to finish ‘Fake 20 Questions’ did we?” 

Mark giggled, “No, I guess not. Wanna keep playing?” 

Ethan nodded, taking it upon himself to start first as they couldn't remember who last went. He thought a bit before speaking.

“Where are we going?”

Mark gasped, “Oh, you’ll love it! It's this beautiful meadow up a few blocks, it's so pretty!” he said, dragging out the ‘so’ profusely. Ethan giggled, nodding for Mark to go.

“What's your full name?”

This brought Ethan back to his shower that morning. He then knew what his next question would be.

“Ethan Mark Nestor-Darling - hyphen between Nestor and Darling - believe it or not.”

Ethan was about to ask his next question when Mark gasped yet again.

“You literally have darling in the name! And you have my name as your middle name! That’s so cute!”

Ethan giggled, “Are you hitting on me?” he joked (though secretly wanted to know).

“Yes! My turn-”

Ethan didn't have much time to think about Mark’s answer before being forced to talk.

“That wasn't my actual question!”

Mark huffed out a ‘fine’ and let Ethan ask another question. Before he did, however, he took a second to think of Mark’s answer. He couldn't have been serious, right? He was probably joking as he probably assumed Ethan was joking. He sighed but tried not to look too sad.

“What's YOUR full name?” He responded, emphasis on the ‘your’.

Mark smiled at him, “Mark Edward Fischbach! Pleasure to meet you!” he said, shaking Ethan’s hand in a fancy voice. “Try not to fall in love with me _too_ much.” he winked. 

Ethan rolled his eyes, he couldn't be in love with him, he barely knew the guy! Though his stomach did feel a bit… _weird_.

Ethan attempted to remember what kids would call them. It hadn't been that long but some common sayings you didn't experience much anymore in the apocalypse were hard to remember. Birds? No, butterflies? Yeah, that was it. Suddenly Ethan got a bit scared, he told himself it was just a crush, everything was _fine._ He let Mark ask a question.

“Uh… sexuality?” 

As soon as the word left his mouth, and the choking noise left Ethan’s throat, Mark began to backtrack.

“If you're comfortable that is! I can ask a different question!”

Ethan waved his hand in a dismissive but nervous motion as he collected himself as best as possible once again. 

Ethan knew looks can be deceiving and he didn't know Mark that well, but Ethan thought he was in relatively safe hands.

“Um, bisexual, you?” he tried to talk like it was no big deal but Ethan was pretty sure he was failing.

But nothing happened. Mark just smiled at him. 

“I don't really like labels but I do like men.” Mark said finally, winking at Ethan making him blush and look away from him and to the road ahead to which he saw they were in a meadow.

He assumed this was _the_ meadow, the one Mark thought he would like. He took a few steps forward into the meadow and looked around. It was gorgeous. In the craziness of the zombie apocalypse, this place was so calm and beautiful; Untouched. It was almost as if nothing had happened or ever would happen. It was just him and Mark.

“So, Darling, ready to learn how to use a shooty?”

Ethan giggled at a gun being called a “shooty” but soon realized what Mark had actually said, looking to Mark with wide eyes and a blush on his face; Even his ears went red. Soon Mark began to frantically explain.

“Like, your last name? That's all - obviously.”

Looking into Mark’s eyes now Ethan realized that there was an actual chance for them and they only knew each other for 2 days. He forced his eyes away. Romance in the apocalypse isn't a good idea. It always ends in sadness and despair. But isn't it better to love and to lose than to not love at all, or in this case, deny yourself love? What was he thinking? They can't be in love, they barely knew each other! He found himself wondering why he couldn't seem to control his feelings around Mark.

Finally, Ethan responded. 

“Yeah, let's do this.”

Mark smiled at him, “Alright!” he clapped.

Mark began to walk a bit further into the meadow and Ethan followed. Ethan then realized perhaps a bit too late that this could be Mark luring him away just to kill him, but this was the first person Ethan could call a friend in _years_ , he was willing to take that risk. He then realized that if Mark wasn't going to kill him and this was legit, Mark would also be taking a risk by handing Ethan a gun. 

Not long later he and Mark came across a makeshift gun range thing which was basically cans, bottles, whatever, propped up on an old broken dresser that was struggling to stay up despite the weight not being much.

“Okay,” Mark said, taking off his bag and pulling out a simple handgun, Ethan was really wondering if he was a cop in his "past" life now. 

“So, basically, it's pretty simple. Watch what I do, okay?” Ethan nodded.

Mark took a stance and shot. He knocked one can down earning Ethan's praise. Then Mark gave the gun to Ethan and their eyes locked for a moment. There was so much trust there. 

Once being given the gun Ethan attempted to mimic Mark's stance, however, before he could take the chance to shoot, Mark was next to him muttering “no”. 

Not saying anything but small notes, Mark began to Move Ethan to the correct position. It made Ethan think of those dumb romance movies where they play golf or something stupid and the guy helps the girl learn. He wondered if Mark liked him like that, or was at least physically attracted to him. He blushed.

“Ethan? You spaced out?”

“Yeah, sorry! I'm good!” he giggled nervously.

He took the shot. He missed. 

“You’ll get em next time, try again!” Mark smiled.

He did, and not much later actually _hit_ something. However, by that time they had to start leaving as too many gunshots would lead the zombies to them.

After a minute of walking, Ethan had to ask.

“Hey, Mark?” Mark looked at him, humming questioningly, and Ethan's face instantly got a bit of a blush as the sun began to set behind Mark. “Why were you so welcoming and trusted letting me into your home?”

Mark looked forward for a minute, thinking. His face looked a bit soft and sad but he turned his head back to Ethan shortly after, smiling at Ethan once more. The sun was now just barely there, the dark blue sky complimenting Mark's face nicely. _They_ were almost _home_.

“Well, for one, you looked very trustworthy - and _very_ cute,” Mark giggled, blushing, giving away what could have passed as a joke as at least slightly true. “And…” Mark looked to the ground, bittersweet look on his face. “after the death of my _friend…_ I was willing to take that risk _."_ Now looking back at Ethan once more before looking forward again. "To have a friend again... To feel again.”

A few messy tears rolled down Mark's face, he quickly wiped them, apologizing for being a crybaby. Ethan was really, _really,_ trying not to fall for the man but looking at him now, falling seemed so easy. And after everything that's happened to them, didn't they owe it to each other to allow themselves to love? Ethan shook his head, they knew each other for _two days._ But on the second hand, if he waited too long, they could miss their chance. He decided to sleep on it.

That night he couldn't sleep. He could hear Mark crying in the next room. All he wanted was to go over and hold him, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to do so. At what he assumed to be around 3 AM, Mark seemed to cry himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyy this next chapter will have a lot of backstory n i suck at that so it might be a bit but if you want slight updates or


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